Talk about your problems or solve your problems?
I say both.
I feel there is a mistake in the masculine mask that wants to solve problems quickly in order to not feel. Talking about your problems with another can be bonding and humanizing and a place for intimacy, compassion, empathy to build relationships and trust… by actual relating. If all you do is talk about your problems, you’re possibly afraid to take action. If all you do is solve your problems, you’re possibly afraid to be vulnerable and connect.
I’ve found that contempt for another is often a reflection of unconscious contempt for myself. Shame and guilt get repressed within me as I attempt to convince another, “It’s you, not me!” and project what I desperately (though unconsciously) don’t want to be about me out on to them. Healing usually starts with awareness, then being gentle with myself, then forgiveness, and gratitude.
After that, I still get to decide what kind of relationships I want to be in. But by then I’m deciding from a more whole and non-reactive place, rather than from a triggered and compensating place.
Why do we needlessly worry and torture ourselves?
“It’s a belief that somebody else has more power in my experience than I do. And the reason you believe that is because you haven’t been practicing the power that you have in your own experience.” ~ Abraham Hicks
For what can I express gratitude for the power I have in my own experience right now?
What action can I take to practice the power I already have in my own experience right now?
“Unconditional love says, I am in alignment with who I am regardless of the situation. But it’s asking a lot of you to look at a situation that yanks your chain and rings your bells in a very negative way and to ask you to turn the other cheek and be at one with it. That isn’t what it all about. It’s about letting yourself see it, letting yourself feel it, let what you really want be born within you then tuning yourself to who you really are and what you really want and little by little the world becomes a place that likes itself better.”
~ Abraham Hicks
People think they’re talking (or posting) about what they’re thinking about, often without realizing that what they’re talking about (and what they’re avoiding talking about) come from what they’re feeling, or what they’re feeling about what they’re thinking.
Often, just feeling what you’re feeling is more satisfying than thinking and talking about it. Especially when you share that feeling experience with another.