Why are you unhappy?

Because 99.9 percent of what you think,

And everything you do,

Is for your self,

And there isn’t one.

~ Wu Wei Wu


Talk about your problems or solve your problems?

Talk about your problems or solve your problems?

I say both.

I feel there is a mistake in the masculine mask that wants to solve problems quickly in order to not feel. Talking about your problems with another can be bonding and humanizing and a place for intimacy, compassion, empathy to build relationships and trust… by actual relating. If all you do is talk about your problems, you’re possibly afraid to take action. If all you do is solve your problems, you’re possibly afraid to be vulnerable and connect.


I’ve found that contempt for another is often a reflection of unconscious contempt for myself. Shame and guilt get repressed within me as I attempt to convince another, “It’s you, not me!” and project what I desperately (though unconsciously) don’t want to be about me out on to them. Healing usually starts with awareness, then being gentle with myself, then forgiveness, and gratitude.
After that, I still get to decide what kind of relationships I want to be in. But by then I’m deciding from a more whole and non-reactive place, rather than from a triggered and compensating place.