Who would you be without that one thought that you tell yourself is stopping you?

You do not suffer because of your negative thoughts, you suffer because you listen to them, because you believe them.

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“I need you to change so that I can be happy.”

That belief is the source of your unhappiness, not the other person’s behavior. You are already empowered. You are already whole and at peace, you just have a silly belief. So, ignore the other person, and either love yourself enough to integrate that disempowering belief, or love the one who can’t.