Before you marry someone find out what their ugly side looks like FIRST. That way there won’t be any surprises later. Somehow, people can be REALLY ugly to people they once loved.
Before you marry someone, share with them YOUR ugly side. That way, when you see their ugly side, you can have compassion for them. You will not be judging each other, trying to only show your attractive sides and hiding your ugly sides, trying to get the upper hand so you don’t get hurt, but rather understanding and supporting each other, so that when the hurts come, and they do, they will be met with understanding and compassion, not surprise.
PS ~ Don’t just do this with your mate before you marry, do it with everyone you want to feel closer with, feel authentic with, with anyone, friends, family, lovers, the postman – anyone you want to actually relate with – that’s what a relationship is ~ revealing and relating.
If you shared and laughed about the things you hide and feel shame and embarrassment about… you would cease to have problems, you would feel ecstatic and energized, and every area of your life would improve unimaginably. I dare you.
One does not find themselves searching.